Revamping The Blog & Welcoming New Writers

We've decided to enlarge the blog, or engorge it, so to speak, if you prefer an overtly sexual vernacular. Several writers will now be contributing pieces that will range from food and album reviews, to personal diaries and news commentary. That's not all! There's more! And its yours for the one time only price of FREE! Jesus will be offering up his commentary on the news. We're also thinking of having Mohammed write an editorial, but we're trying to avoid a Fatwa.

Here are the new columns:

'EARTH! A Jesus Story' - A weekly news commentary courtesy of the robed one. We're currently negotiating a daily piece with him. What? Jesus got get paid, too!
'Hi I'm Andy Banks' - A weekly update of the goings-on in Andy Banks life, written by Andy Banks.
'Dood Food with Uncle Ken' - A bi-monthly recipe column paired with classic album reviews. Apparently, Chili and ZZ Top are the first pairing. Stay tuned. Written by Ken Pangburn.
'This Week In...' - A weekly travelogue from travel correspondents who clearly know nothing about the places they've been. If they haven't been to Beirut, they'll make it up!
'Hannity's Hemorrhoid' - A column written from the perspective of Harry, a hemorrhoid located in the nether regions of Sean Hannity's ass. He will talk about anything and everything.
'Poster Child for Eugenics' - A weekly award given to the week's biggest idiot, with accompanying commentary.
'People You Should Avoid' - A column emphasizing people that you should avoid at all costs.


Several more columns are forthcoming and we'll keep you updated with the latest additions to the staff.

Cheers,

DJ

Klaxons Set To Invade America

Not on my watch! Stay in the UK you twats.

Gays and Christians United Against Snickers

Have we slipped into some bizarre, post-Super Bowl cultural vortex? If you haven't noticed already, Gays and Christians are united against a common enemy--a global candymaker? Oh, the Horror!

The Gays take issue with how the ad suggests an inherent immasculation exists in a homosexual kiss.

Religious conservatives take issue with the Homosexual kiss, in general, during the wholesome Super Bowl festivities.

What do we take away from this whole fiasco? Snickers makes you a self-loathing homosexual.

The Misshapes DJ parties and New York goes nuts!!!

The Misshapes... Angular haircuts have never been so finally tuned as with this group. Lots of black. Lots of white. Chic designs. Mugatu surely would have said, 'Misshapes, so hot right now!' Continuing with the Zoolander theme, every photo op for the trio is just another opportunity to project cool through carefully measured Magnum poses.

More to the point, what is it that has everyone falling over themselves to heap praise on these three stooges of hip culture?

- They DJ at clubs! So does Richie Hawtin, Darren Emerson and a plethora of others. If you know good music and have the skills to man the turntables, there's nothing spectacular about DJing in and of itself. This is where marketing and self-promotion come in and therein lies The Misshapes real talent: selling cool.

- But, they have such great fashion sense! No, not really. They look like just about every other rock star, DJ, fashion hipster on the planet.

Shit... I can't even think of any additional reasons why we should be looking at our watches to see if the 15 minutes are up with this group. Their image simply says it all. All image, no substance.