A Brief Dialogue Between Zing & Colchester

Zing stands on a street corner. Colchester to his left.

Zing: Have you any idea how long we've been standing here?
Colchester: No. No idea at all.
Zing: Seems rather perverse, really.
Colchester: What does?
Zing: Standing here on a street corner.
Colchester: What?
Zing: Standing here on a street corner.
Colchester: Ah, yes.
Zing: So you agree its rather perverse?
Colchester: No.
Zing: No?
Colchester: No. You've chosen to stand here, therefore it cannot be perverse.
Zing: But, I don't remember choosing anything...
Colchester: Clearly you did, otherwise you'd be somewhere else.
Zing: I don't remember making any sort of decision, though.
Colchester: Doesn't matter. You haven't moved. Your decision is manifest.
Zing: Well, if by not moving counts as a decision, then you must have also made a decision.
Colchester: No.
Zing: No?
Colchester: No. I don't make decisions.
Zing: You don't make decisions?
Colchester: Nope.
Zing: Tell me, how do you not make decisions?
Colchester: I don't give myself alternatives.
Zing: How is that possible?
Colchester: Oh, its very simple, really. I stand here and don't consider the existence of alternatives.
Zing: Aha! But that right there is a decision. Either: a) you consider alternatives, or b) you don't.
Colchester: Wrong again. I don't think about outcomes. And if I don't think about outcomes, I simply cannot consider any alternatives. Not to mention, I have no idea what I'm doing here. And if I have no idea what I'm doing here, then by definition, I can be neither pleased nor annoyed by the unfolding of time here on the street corner.
Zing: Preposterous!
Colchester: No. Simple. I just exist. I'm rather like a robot.
Zing: Ha!

Zing considers something for a moment.

Zing: But you're thinking about something right now. You're having a conversation, and that requires a degree of thinking. Response.
Colchester: Having a conversation does not require thinking. Every day people have conversations without thinking.
Zing: You have a point there. But. But. But, clearly you've been speaking intelligently and lucidly over the last few minutes. Surely you can't dispute that. And the fact that I've asked you questions has forced you to think. So, you must have been thinking!
Colchester: Have I?
Zing: Without a doubt.
Colchester: Perhaps I'm only answering randomly.

Zing thinks.

Zing: That's absurd! You seem to have a clear line of thinking. Your thoughts don't seem random.
Colchester: I told you I'm not thinking.
Zing: Then what is it that you're doing?
Colchester: I'm standing here on a street corner talking to you.

Zing considers.

Zing: Have you any idea how long we've been standing here?
Colchester: No. No idea at all.